We were climbing in our Liberal Arts University Little when we heard that our daughter returned home. My wife and I did not expect us at the time, but rather than asking questions or asking what to do, we took the action and started to prepare for the arrival of our adopted daughter.
My partner and I were junior in college when we became immediate parents.
Before this hectic moment, a family member told us about a little girl who needed a house. At the beginning, we thought that the idea was crazy, having just been married weeks before, but the family member assured us that the process would be long and we could finish the university before it was placed. We thought and prayed on this subject, finally deciding that it was something we could do.
However, some external factors accelerated the process, and it was necessary that it enters our house much earlier, so, after a few months saying “yes”, we brought our daughter back to home.
In a few days, we moved from our university campus and in a two -bedroom apartment. We have moved schedules, bought new furniture and said to our parents (not in this order!).
Our lives were changed in a way we did not expect, and even if it was stressful sometimes, I would not change the way we learned and grew up with the family.
Our peer group changed in an instant
One of the greatest surprises in parenting at a young age has been to lose a group of peers and develop a new one.
At the beginning, we were a young couple without children, so we tried to cultivate relationships with couples in the same category during the first six months of our marriage. We even had a couple of it during the same night, we discovered that we become parents and, to our surprise, they never returned after our family grew up.
Instead, our group of university peers has given way to deeper friendships with many of our teachers who also grew up young families. Talk about a change of atmosphere.
I still often find that the same is true today. Many of our closest friendships are with peers from five to 10 years older than us because we have similar children.
We realized that our child would determine a lot for us and shape the way we relate to our peers.
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We have experienced diapers of challenges, quickly
We endured important stress points at the start, and the learning curve for a 3 -year -old child was high.
At the same time, we always aimed to finish university in the four years and to win enough to support us while finalizing the adoption process.
Very simply, we were above our heads.
We took things day by day, but our new standard was difficult to sail. We decided to put our daughter in two nursery schools twice a week to welcome our schedules. It was not an easy choice for us, because we also knew that the link and the attachment at the start of the adoption are essential, but our packaged schedules made the preschool an essential option.
Decisions like these took place almost daily, and the fear of not knowing what was good (and not only easy) was sometimes overwhelming.
Our community surrounded us
The challenges would probably have completely destabilized, but our community has rallied around us in a way that we did not expect.
Our family doctor, lawyer, therapist, babysitters and friends have all been anchored in our university community. I was already satisfied with the education that I obtained in school, but the type of community support that we received is what solidifies my good memories these days at university.
Although we have had difficult family decisions, we had support and mentorship that helped us navigate everyone.
If I were to advise someone in a similar situation, I would tell them that the connection deeply with a community was the key to our ability to navigate in our first days as parents.
It made us who are today
These first days and parents were not easy, and we made a lot of recruit errors. Most of the time, we felt like children raising a child.
Anyway, these first difficult days produced a foundation that led us. We are more flexible, ingenious and arranged that we would have been differently.
Today, my partner and I have four children and are very grateful for the unique start of our life as parents. We now allow the lessons learned to inform what we are doing today.
