My daughter and I were sitting at the kitchen table on a Saturday afternoon after football with a stack of thanks, a skill spreadsheet and a gift list she Received for his birthday. We were two months late by writing them, which already felt bad. She was frustrated and I didn't want to do it either.
Her questioning eyes looked at me and she asked, “Why should I start again?”
Without a good answer, this moment highlighted my own anxiety Writing thanks cards. I learned that they were important at a young age, something you had to do, but the rules that surround them seemed forced and arbitrary: that you had exactly a month to write a note of thanks, for example, or that you could not collect a check until you have sent a thanks card.
Over the years, especially as a parent, I have Fighting with this label And finally decided not to participate, or either to participate my children. It seems liberating.
I learned to write notes of thanks from my parents
As Gen Xer, the loss of the habits of our boomer parents can be difficult. There is an undeniable “generational tension“Let many of us feel, but we are still participating in these practices because of the way we have been raised.
I noticed that I write these cards from a place of “should” and even a place of shame, because it is the beliefs of my family. It is an obligation that I had already pushed on my two children, but I now think back this tradition.
As I write my thank you note, I said thank you a few times: in person when I open the gift, and generally in a Telephone or text call pursue. It makes me ask me: how many times should we say thank you? When is enough? We can be just as grateful without waiting for the handwritten note.
I remember having been two weeks postpartum, deprived of sleep and half-human, writing notes of thanks to each person who has brought meals to us. Today, this memory makes me angry, because I was not inspired by a deep appreciation, but by guilt. I would have liked to be able to focus on my newborn baby and not on writing notes.
I have friends who have family members who care about this label, ask when a thank you card will arrive or why it is late. I had people in my life cherish the notes I wrote, and even go so far as to write a thank you card in response to my beautiful thank you card! And I secretly like it when someone says that writing one is not necessary. What a relief. The range of attitudes is contradictory and confusing.
There are other ways to express your gratitude
To say thank you can take several forms and should not be normative. So many things happen in the world that the concept of writing these notes seems outdated, even useless. So, yes, I reject a standard with which I do not agree. I think we should use our precious time and energy to thank you in the best way for us and our relationships.
The writing of a card is great – but a call, an email, a video or a text. We can thank any sincere and significant form. I could still write a very occasional note if I feel moved to do it. I could also be inspired by my daughter and do a work of art and send her as a symbol of my appreciation. The piece of paper does not seem as important as express our gratitude to the gift donor.
